Some lovely misconceptions I'd like to clear up about me not wanting to address this case yet another time.

1. I've lived with this shit my entire life. Really? There has been no closure. I have kept the story alive if only to preserve my mother's memory. If only to let people know that the law sometimes fucks over the family of the victim.
2. My family has been completely shattered by this. We live in all parts of the US and the world now. No one wants to stay somewhere with so many bad memories. Some families grow closer after tragedy. Others splinter off. We all love each other but because of so much pain inflicted on us by this, we prefer solitude and quiet.
3. I, for one, am sick and tired of these bleeding heart groups. I'm all for seeing a person exhonerated when they did nothing wrong. Because of the stupid CSI effect, millions of people have been duped into thinking that there will be DNA at every crime scene. They think that if there is no DNA to prove a person was there, they didn't do it! This is a dangerous fallacy that often causes sentences to be overturned. I admit witness identification can be faulty, but if it was you, would you want to be believed? This is akin to questioning the intelligence of the victim and I am very annoyed by this. This asshole sat on top of me while he was stabbing me. I assure you I never forgot his damn face and still see it in my dreams 30 years later. Still, the bleeding hearts are a bunch of wanna-be CSI agents who don't know shit. Unless you have a degree in forensic science, I don't give a fuck what you think when you are on the side of the perpetrator.
4. Still today people treat victims like crap. We are percieved to be either a) mentally ill, b) delicate flowers incapable of breathing on their own or c) nasty bitter people. While it may be true for some, it's not for all of us. I for one, am a pissed off woman. I may be percieved to be overly passionate about this cause or occasionally way too sensitive to the pain of others. Pain and grief do horrible things to people and being judged when a person had no idea what I'd been going through made me despise most people around me. 
5. Every time this shit comes up I temporarily lose my mind. I can fight it all I want. I can keep myself busy, but come April, I get depressed and anxious. If I am not careful, it will impact my work, school and relationships. I also have extremely scary nightmares and my sleep is disrupted for an entire month. 
6. I don't have to talk about this much because other people are doing it for me. I have found blog after blog, article after article about my case. I have stumbled upon pages dedicated to my case but written by people who have bought a bullshit story from a charismatic psychopath. I feel the same way when I read about Jim Jones (special Kool-Aid) and Charles Manson. I have determined that most people are sheep. How would you feel to be finding strangers discussing YOU on a webpage?
7. Doubt. Sheer doubt. Not on my part. On the part of people who think that because there is no evidence that can be tested now, my recollections aren't worth a crap. Here's a tip for you: you believe in a higher power, although you can't see it. How fucking hard is it to believe the recollecition of a child with above average intelligence who was able to back up the accusation? I'm sick and tired of people believing him THE PERP (with a prior murder conviction) instead of me. Oh, all the right people believe me, like those who prosecuted him, my family and other supporters. It still burns my ass that people will latch onto any notorious case like this one that fuels their need to be part of something big or better yet, give them some clout for a career on the rise. 
8. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for some other DNA from another case to surface showing that he had committed other crimes. I ask you, do you think it's isolated incidents that a man kills one person, kills a mother and tries to kill her kids? Who wants to bet he was actual a serial murderer? Again, someone is going to feel like shit when it happens again. 
9. If I hear one more time he's paid his debt to society, I am going to scream. You can never repay a debt for murder. And what about your debt to the survivors? Unless you're paying me with your life, you will  never begin to repay shit. 
10. I don't want to do it again because I'm afraid of being wrong, afraid of something new being discovered or worse, know I'm going to lose. That's pure BS. I'm just tired of all of us being dragged through the mud and ignorant comments being made about my mother. That's why I hate this bullshit. 

If it sounds like I'm angry, yes I am. My entire life has been consumed with pain, sadness, depression, anxiety, sleep problems. I have physical injuries that will never heal. My family has been splintered and destroyed, and all of my relationships have been affected. I have begun to heal in the past few years, but I am angry enough still that this won't die. Put yourself in my place. Wouldn't you feel the same?